Time to Change
I’m a senior in college! I never thought this day would come but I am finally a SENIOR. In less than a year I will be graduating. YAY graduation! I want to shout it from the roof of my student center. In a year I will be starting graduate school, looking for a grown–up job, and making a ton of life-changing decisions. Wait…why am I excited about this? This is terrifying!
I’m definitely rethinking this whole “YAY I’m a senior” thing. Can I go back to being a freshman, please?
Over the next 10 months, I fully except to freak out, use a truck-full of sticky notes to plan out my life, and then decide it’s just better to live in complete denial. I don’t know about you, but change scares me. I like to pretend I’m totally fearless and can handle anything; but in reality, even sitting here writing this blog is making me want to go hide under the covers. I’m NOT a fan of change. Actually, let me revise that statement. I’m totally fine with change if I know exactly what is changing. What scares me is the unknown of change. Right now, there is a lot of unknown.
Even though I am in the dark, thankfully God is not. This summer God really showed me He has a glorious plan for me. I wish I could say this is the first time God has taught me this lesson, but it’s not. God has taught me this lesson over and over again because I wander away over and over again. The first time I remember learning this lesson was the summer of 2007. I was 17 and working my very first summer at Camp Mundo Vista. One of the Bible studies was about Esther and how God had this beautiful plan for her. She was exactly where God wanted her to be. It hit me one day as I was teaching these little girls that God had a plan for them, He had one for ME too!!
This past summer God taught me this lesson yet again. I spent part of the summer hanging out with really amazing missionaries that live in Macedonia. I got to live life with them, and it was incredible! Through many different situations (that could fill up 20 blogs) God showed me He has a plan for me. He is not going to leave me to fend for myself. God is going to lovingly guide me to the next chapter of my life.
So, now that I’ve learned this lesson (again), what to do with it? Of course there is the obvious answer of seek God and fear not. But I feel like there is something more. Even though being a senior is truly scary, being a freshman is equally terrifying. So why not be scared together?
When I was a freshman, I was very blessed to have several upperclassmen friends who showed me around, taught me the ropes, and most importantly, got me plugged in. They took me to church or invited me to a campus ministry group with them. This semester, SHINE (myMISSION) is starting a new program. We are going to pair a freshman (or transfer student) with an upper classmen. It’s still in the planning stages but I’m really excited about it! I can’t wait to see what God is going to do this semester.
Creator God, Thank you for taking my ugly fear and making it beautiful through your plan for me.